I did not know what to contact this write-up since I did not know what the write-up would be about. That is just a reality of life with we hack writers. Writes create!
Anyway, I decided to contact it Humor: The Funniest Report Ever Written!
That would get me began and I might modify the write-up title later.
Yet is not it funny that:
You add an "h" to "hug," you get Hugh. Simply because the "h" is silent in England you would assume you would get "hug" ideal back once again. In England is Hugh Grant named Hug? No!
You add an "e" to hop and you get "hope" Yet if you add an "e" to "to," you get "toe." That "e" can modify an "ah" sound to "oh" or an "uuh" like in "you" to "oh." Oh, yes! Add an "e" to "trip" and you get "tripe" and who desires that?
I like Spanish exactly where vowels behave themselves.
And you can spell "rough" as "ruff" each of which are pronounced "ruhf."
You know what your spell checker will do with "ruhf.
"Ruff" is that "stiffly starched frilled or pleated circular collar of lace, muslin, or other fine fabric, worn by guys and girls in the 16th and 17th centuries."
Oh, you play bridge!
I consider that we should really spell "rough" and "ruff" "ruf". See http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ruff
Here's a list of new spellings:
Mississippi Misipee
Utah Utaw (not oohtah, say the "U.")
Southwest North Mexico
Italians never reside in Eyetalee. They reside in ITally! Theyare not EYEtalians.
Here is a funny post from http://www.iol.ie/~afifi/BICNews/Fun/fun4.htm
English is a Funny Language!
Broadcasted on BICNews 14 October 1997
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple... English muffins have been not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, though sweetbreads, which are not sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. Yet if we discover its paradoxes, we obtain that quicksand can operate gradually, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers create, Yet fingers never fing, grocers do not groce, and hammers do not ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why is not the plural of booth beeth? One particular goose, two geese. So, A single moose, two meese? 1 index, 2 indices? Is cheese the plural of pick out?
If teachers taught, why did not preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people today recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim opportunity and a fat opportunity be the identical, even though a sensible man and a sensible guy are opposites? How can the climate be hot as hell A single day and cold as hell yet another?
Though a home burns up, it burns down. You fill in a type by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
Although the stars are out, they are visible, Yet while the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, although I wind up my watch, I commence it, However although I wind up this essay, I end it?
(courtesy of Giggles)
Here is a poem you will uncover at http://hnewlands.typepad.com/cardboard_spaceship/2005/09/english_as_funn.html
The Funny English Language
We'll commence with a box and the plural is boxes,
However the plural of ox need to be oxen, not oxes.
The A single fowl is a goose Yet 2 are referred to as geese,
However the plural of moose ought to don't be meese.
You could discover a lone mouse or a entire set of mice,
But the plural of home is homes not hice.
If the plural of man is often known as guys,
Why should not the plural of pan be referred to as pen?
If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be referred to as beet?
If One particular is a tooth and a entire set are teeth,
Why need to not the plural of booth be named beeth?
Then 1 might be that and 3 would be these,
But hat in the plural would not be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats and not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
However although we say mother, we don't say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
However consider the feminine she, shis and shim.
So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.
Properly, I guess I will retain the title!
The End
Taylor Jones, the Hack Writer
John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com), a retired college professor and small business executive, Former editor of an international engineering magazine. To study additional about Wealthy Affiliate University go to his information site. If you desire a flagpole to Fly Old Glory, go to the enterprise site.
A lot more information: http://www.InternetBusinessToolCenter.com
Small business web-site: [http://www.AAAFlagpoles.com]
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